lonely day

I greeted at church today. And greeting typically is a fun time, of excitement and laughing and meeting new people while hugging on old friends. Today was no exception. Except that, at the end of it all, I just wanted to be around someone that knew me. Someone that could hold me while I cried; it was very much needed. So, somehow, in the midst of this amazing community of people that I adore, I managed to have a lonely day.
I came home wanting to be on a beached sailboat near Charleston, with an old friend, a fleece blanket, and a bottle of wine to myself. Lonely days such as this I think I am being pitiful. But, I remind myself, everyone is entitled to a lonely day.
I am really hoping for deeper friendships here and hope it isn't me holding that back.

Positively, I did leave church today with dimples that hurt from smiling. That was great.

And then my wonderful house mate carted me off for cheesecake and shopping. And somehow the day was better.

In the midst of all of this, I realized that I consistently look to someone to be my refuge. But, to quote a great woman, I should not bear my soul in the presence of any man. For in the arm's of a sinner I am.
How I long for it though.

Lots of weighty things pushing on me the past few months. How to make sense of all of it.
Prayer.
More and more prayer...For He will reveal Himself to me. From me He will not depart.
Proverbs 28:13